In mid-March I got sick; again. I cancelled most of my clients that week as I slept. The first day I slept for 13+ hours and spent the whole day in bed. The rest of the week was pretty much the same. I had hit the wall; again. I was determined this year not to have that happen; again. And yet it had. What was wrong with me? I love what I do. I love working with my clients. I love making a difference in peoples lives. Why was I exhausted?
So while I lay in bed that first day I surfed Facebook in between sleeping. A post kept showing up on my feed about some guy named Kyle Cease. So I watched it. And then I spent $20 to watch his 2 day Evolving Out Loud "Interactive Limitation Game", which ended up taking me over a week, but changed my life. You might think that's an exaggeration, but its not.
Its not like what he was saying was anything new. It was how he said it that resonated with me ... how most of us tend to live in our minds, which are fear based; when we really need to connect with our hearts, which are love based. He suggests meditating and getting in touch with your heart.
I've tried meditating before and I can't. I'm not good at counting my breath or just paying attention to it. I have a hard time pushing those thoughts away and sitting in silence. Its just not my thing ... though I had often thought that it might be good for me. But I tried it - his way. Sit comfortably and allow your brain to do its thing. Holy shit did my brain have a lot to say ... actually it has a lot to say a lot of the time. But what I noticed was that eventually it did quiet down and then I could be in my heart and in my body. And the weird thing was I liked this. And so I did it again and again ... 10 mins, 15 mins, 20 mins and even 30 mins!
What I found was that the more I meditated, the better I felt. I found I was more grounded. I felt happier and centred and stuff didn't seem to bother me as much. My relationship with my daughter has completely changed. Not to say we don't still go into our mother-daughter roles; but rather I am different/softer with her and in turn she is with me. Thats very cool! So here we are the beginning of May and I meditate almost every day for a least 30 mins or longer if possible. It is now a part of my self-care regime and honestly I love it!!
This blog has been started because of all the insights and ideas that are coming up because of doing this one thing. I can't wait to see what my life brings next!!
I have a lot of titles: single mum, solo-preneur, medical exercise specialist, intuitive energy massage practitioner ... yet who I am is someone on a path to discovering herself & life at 50! Its exciting & kinda scary to be here ... saying YES to love, magic, creativity & the unknown!